' nothing less cause you know, i'll give you all of me'

2007-09-16T22:02:00.000+08:00

you know, sometimes, i do have this feeling, of talking t those people who were once closest t me back then, and MAYBE starting anew?

however, a part of me tells me, it isnt really a good idea.

but then again,like wad Amelia said, people do make mistakes. ahhh, nvm la. i just leave everything as it is?if its meant t be, then yea. but when the moment comes whereby both parties meet, then, maybe i see how the situation goes.

its been a long time though.

*eh, i know u were the one who used t keep on teasing me by calling me by my chi name la.walaoooo.LOL!

-
alright! schl starts tmr! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
kindaa lzay thou.

lik hw im typg nw.suprrr lzy. =/

nice one,babes.

2007-08-25T19:12:00.001+08:00

and i was told by a friend of mine, to pop by one of my once friend's blog, 'kuiksilver-.blogspot.com' cause there was something interesting happening at the tagboard, regarding "me" and them,again.

i SO didnt know what was happening until , like now?
when i got to the blog, wow. nice typing uh. like you know, bigsmall fonts kinda?

and yeah,theyre jumping to conclusions once again, thinking IM the one who tagged?

haha, and like, dont people remember i dont give a damn to lil issues? and, i have more important stuffs to be done.

ohyea,
some people just never change, do they?

2007-08-23T13:33:00.000+08:00

im missing you cutestuff. (:
and yea, no more schl alr! more trainings t come, work and outings!

2007-08-15T23:39:00.000+08:00

it felt great seeing u after being apart for 3 mths, without contact.
it was great seeing ure smile
it was great seeing u had someone new
it was great seeing uve become better
it was great even t walk past each other and even acknowledging one another.

in short,
it was great seeing u, jon.
i missed you.(:

-
skipped schl tday and went tanjong beach with jeanice.
ha(:
took many pics after sun tanning.many retard and ugly pics.
and i didnt get any darker la. =/
and i MUST MUST MUST loose all that babat.

2007-08-13T15:24:00.000+08:00

thank you so much for making me happy.(:
for like almost every moment.

-
and i did the whole ppt myself.YAY!((x

2007-08-11T22:30:00.000+08:00

my ass hurts badly.it went totally numb.guess i need my anti-slip pad.

and the heat was quite intense.tink only im feeling it.therefore the exhaustion just now in town.

and that NEW NUM black metallic strap slipper is so hot la.I WANT IT.i cant bear t wear my pretty white one out everyday. its so sad t even see a black line on it.
got any sponsers??LOL.

-

happy birthday, gusti.
ive got nth else t say t u alr, other than wishing u.

2007-08-08T00:19:00.000+08:00

Now, Im beginning to wonder. What makes my ex(es)' gfs so special. Can I be a bitch t say this? Ok, never mind.

* girls get the good looking guys. I dont mean tt my past bfs are THAT good looking, but cute in certain ways, but ohwells. Let things go that way.

-
I'll be better. I WILL BE. Trust me.

2007-08-06T17:26:00.000+08:00

alright im so sick. and i guess everything has been good so far?(:
other then that bastard of course.

meet up with MRLIM! gotten myself a new eyecandy.
hahah.
and last but nt least, never forgetting the Bitches.(:

myloves.

-

I guess, now I or rather, many other people had found out what is his true colours. and yes, thanks for being so rude. THAT phrase was really redundant.

thanks anw. what a friend.

for you.

2007-08-06T17:22:00.000+08:00

You came into my life abruptly,
took my freedom away.

stole my heart,
and made me happy.

then you came up to me,
saying you're unable to commit;
all in a matter of 4 days,
and we part our ways.

now we're like totla strangers,
but dont pretend you ever forget about me.

I dont care how you think about me,
cos i know im better off without you.

thanks for nothing, boy.

2007-08-01T19:30:00.000+08:00

Now, did I hear something? Something about you being able to commit again? What a joke. Crap or whattttttt.

quotes!

2007-07-28T00:38:00.000+08:00

every day i fight back the urge to text you, or call you, telling myself that if you wanted to talk to me, you would.

there's a sadness in her smile that only he can replace. but then he was the one who took away the happiness in the first place.

thats what is going to keep us going. its what is going to help us through. and its what is going to make us stronger, together. (i tried telling u this though..)

twenty minutes. that short little time was all it took for someone to be taken away. maybe the alcohol had something to do with it. maybe it was the drugs. but the time. baby the time took you away.

i wonder what its like when a dream dies inside you. do you cry as you watch it slip away?

he said. = it doesn't matter. nothing matters except you, and i'm going to be with you for a very long time, or until i get married. but that doesn't matter either, because i am going to marry you. (this is so fucking sweet)

all these quotes i write, they're about one person. you. i'm wondering if you know. do you know, that i think about you 24/7? do you know, that your the one i want to be with for the rest of my life? do you know, that i love you with everything that i have? do you know, that i hope you feel the exact same way? (ha. no one knows what the future holds though..)

when a boy admits to you that he was stupid.. and doesn't even try to explain it, you know he really feels bad.(funny sia)

i want the kind of love where you are with him all the time. where you have pillow fights, or throw balloons at eachother. where he'll give me ice cream and then shove it in my face. where he wants to know exactly what was said everytime i talk to another boy, because he "just wants to make sure nothings going on" where he'll walk beside me. but mainly, just where he'll love me.(hell yea. hands up for this.)

you know yourself. you know you love him. but the only thing you don't seem to know is; why he can't love you back.(more like even try?)

i can't wait to get out of this place, to look back and smile at the memories of here, and you.

it's been a while, but it still seems like just yesterday that you were mine.(yeaaa...)

its impossible to even describe all the things i'd give up, for him to be mine again forever.(yeaa again..)

boy, everythime i hear ure voice, u know it still drives me insane like how i felt back then.(I MADE THIS!)

somedays, i guess, everythings okay and i think maybe i'm getting over him. but then the next day comes and its like i know right when i wake up that its won't be a good day. those days are the ones i wake up with thoughts of him. thoughts of what we used to be, of all the memories we shared. thoughts of what could have been, of what i might have done differently. what i wish i would have done differently.

its finally sinking in that your gone.
from the first time that i cried, when i lost that sleep.
i'm not regretting it now, i know i loved you more than life.
please, just don't forget me

one of the worst feelings in the world,
is waking up the morning after he broke up with you,
thinking everything is still amazing
and then remembering; that its not.

scientists may say your heart breaking is only in your head. thats its only an emotional feeling you get. but i think its something more, i think that your heart really can break, if a boy hurts you bad enough.

i can't wait to see you, hear your voice, feel your hand in mine, stand so close to you that i can feel your heartbeat. i can't wait for you to hold me again, with you saying your never letting go.(tsk.haix)

all frm xanga.
-
and there's training tmr.and thighs are so fucking pain i cried badly.

2007-07-25T14:47:00.000+08:00

"I always needed time on my own.I never thought I'd need you there when I cry.
And the days feel like years when I'm alone"

"The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok."

I miss you

Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul.

-

im seriously tired of everything. Yes, everything. Dragonboat, family, friends, school, YouHimMeSheUs then, Life. BAH.

ohman,so super emo.and im not the only one feeling like this.FUCK IT.

read this?

2007-07-25T00:06:00.000+08:00

for you:
yea, i dont understand what u mean.and avoiding isnt ure job. i know what t do.im alright w what im still feeling.just that i seriously DONT like what ure doing.and i hope youll change that.

you cant go on like this yea.time will heal my pain, but im alright w this.so, the rest is up t u yep?

and yea, i love you.. TEAMMATE.(:
dont disappoint me.and you wil always have that important place within me.

2007-07-22T23:03:00.000+08:00

a part of me doesnt wna let go and 'feels hes the right one', while the other part feels so much pain.

i cant bear t look at him, lest to even saying hi t him.funny thing is, i cant let him outta my sight when he walks away.and the words, "hes gone" remains.

they say loving is letting go. i dont agree with this.

-
and im getting t b more bored of schl. rp is so so so SO boringggggg. i need entertainment sial. and i still need him.

2007-07-22T02:17:00.001+08:00

Im already geting so sick and tired of school.Its like everyone needs much more life and entertainment.DB can never provide me much joy right now or even back then.Alright. I lied.DB provided me joy when I was together with babi besar. Much joy.Now...? I stil need time. Hard la.

And I havent learn to love my folks yet. I noe Im not doing them good, but yet I havent acted on it.

-
So yea, after training, Noelle,Yvonne,Hadi, Hakim and I left for town. Pity Noelle larh.Took so much effort into talking to people and then it has gone to waste, but not only that, we all were feeling fucked up.

Then Kenneth came and met us. ha.

So we were like walking aimlessly around town again.And relaxed at many places, and finally decided to spent our time at Paragon's Starbucks.

Then Hakim,Hadi and I decided t leave at 10.30.lol. and here I am, updating about my day.

"seeing her actions makes me paranoid and fearful,but yet i dont know why im so hostile towards her.and it hurts." -help.

2007-07-19T17:28:00.000+08:00

she found out.am i like dead or what?and shes someone who cant shut the fuck up.

-
my elbows still fucking hurts.how am i supposed to row or train tmr?loser.

-

i still need time to adjust.everything that had happened just jeopardised our great friendship.THANKS AH.THANKSSSSS.fuck.

stolen,dont needa return thn, bt i had to now.

2007-07-19T01:16:00.001+08:00

am feeling mixed right now. at first it was those words i wna hear tt u still feel the same as i do, then after that, u change and said u liked another.

wtf?

and i noe it isnt true. i wont believe the latter. we still need some time off yea.

-

silly lil things we said about our song, seems so much harder to forget.why? cos a part of me still holds on, and its cos i want it to. it aint a torture, but its something painfully sweet.

-
oh.i just rmbered my bro telling me about my dad wanting to send me somewhere new aft poly?i need a new environment badly.

dumb of me saying this, but i rly felt that i was gna marry babi besar..bt thn again......i duno.BAHH.

&

you know, sorry cannot just solve everything.and u might noe or mayb not, that im someone who HATES PRETENDING to do something or ACTING like as if i DONT KNOW anything.i hate hatehatehatehate hate. THAT.i cant bring myself t do it.so cruel.thats so NOT me.

&

like u said 'how can i make it up t u?' tink of ways to make it up t me. theres soooooooooooooooooooooo many things u can do and that u noe i'll be happy withyeaa.(: and. there are sooooooooo many people who loves and care so much for u.so i still hope ull change. and its for ureself.

2007-07-18T11:55:00.000+08:00

ive lost someone good. and he came at the wrong time. and the wrong place. no one noes what the future holds yea. and i hope you wont feel bad anymore. and im sorry too.

wonder if ull read this?

2007-07-17T16:15:00.001+08:00

ive lost a good catch.i was really hoping ull change for ureself too. but u didnt want. so wad else can i say? sorry has alr been misused too many times. and u dont even wna try. wads so hard about trying? im willing to try. but not for u. im greatly disappointed in u. i wna help. but u didnt wna let me in. i rmbered all those u told me b4, but vaguely, tt u hope if i was ure gf, ull be happy enough. yea. i knew u were happy back then..ut like wad u said, we probably came at the wrong time.

its alright yea. we have 3 yrs in rpdb.i dont wna lose a good team mate, a good friend,and maybe a good bf agn, i hope?by then, i hope ull be more matured enough.and i still love you for everything you are.and i hope u feel the same way as i do.

iloveyoubabi besar.

2007-07-17T16:15:00.000+08:00

ive lost a good catch.i was really hoping ull change for ureself too. but u didnt want. so wad else can i say? sorry has alr been misused too

2007-07-16T21:10:00.000+08:00

you know, im alright with you not spending every single moment w me.why?cos we're in db,and in the same schl.i dont mind u not gg out w me,but being in schl is alr good enough.i dont expect u t give me everything and being tgt every moment.u know, even meetg u for like 5 mins means alot to me.

i really dont wna give you up right now, especially wen we've just started.
"But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot"

"All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me"

i aint blaming you over the fact that you cant commit.i really hope ull change.for me, and also for you.i'll wait.for you, i'll wait.i'll do my very best though.and so should you.will ya?

maybe now its the right time to think about what ive been going through.

will you change for the better?

2007-07-16T19:58:00.000+08:00

i was just beginning t learn t love you.and then, cause you said ure unable t commit yet.i suddenly felt that im going through another bogus relationship.im so sick and tired of it.im so sick and tired of the other party not deciding what they really want,not making up their minds.thats the reason why i told u t take tings slow and make up ure mind.

i thought i can finally call you mine.i thought i have finally found someone who's willing to commit to me, someone true.

however, this lyrics reminds me of jonathan.the "you" represents jonathan.

'It was only a matter of time
Before I got tired of your ways
I tried to make you fire,
But you were only ice
And you didn't seem to wanna change

So then I looked at someone new
And he was looking back at me too
Saw that I was hurt
Knew just what to say
Knew just how to push the pain away

You know I need stability
And you know you can't give it to me

[Chorus]
My sun may never rise the way it did with you,
And he may never kiss me the way that you'd do
But at least he makes me feel like a part of his life
At least he doesn't make me cry
I know I can call him mine

Though when I call him on the phone
I never feel butterflies
I know that I can trust
He'll always give me love
And I know mine will grow for him in time

He tells me that I'm beautiful
And I never ever heard that from you
He doesn't cause me pain
Tears falling like the rain
And though I'm still in love with you
You know I need stability

[Chorus]

It wasn't easy letting go but I know that I had to think of the long run and say goodbye
And find someone who appreciates me even though even though.....

My sun may never rise the way it did with you
And he may never ever kiss me the way that you'd do, that you'd do...

[Chorus]

The sun may never rise again like it did with you
And he may never ever kiss me the way you'd do
But at least he makes me feel like I'm a part of his life
He doesn't make me cry
Doesn't make me cry
He doesn't make me cry
I know I can call him mine'

him, babi besar,he makes me feel part of his life.he tells me what i should know.compared to the previous few,i rly respected him alot.cos of this,i thought he was probably the one for me.but..

2007-07-16T11:04:00.000+08:00

i feel so stress.i dont know why.and i really think i needyou here right now.

2007-07-15T21:13:00.001+08:00

i feel so emo right now.damndamndamndamn.and steve damn fuckd up la.make evryone rowed for a dman long time.total madness.and i became so fucking pissed as my left arm and shoulder numbed.and its still numbed.and everyone hurt their thumbs.

alright.nuff said about db.still feel so pissed.and am feeling so weak right now.guess ive been thinking too much about us?im just afraid of the same old whole damn thing repeating all over again.im afraid im not good enough for you. im afraid im unable t meet your expectations.im..just afraid.

i hate that.i need u t help me overcome it.willya?

youve got me missing your caress.

2007-07-14T22:15:00.000+08:00

hes so bald. haix. bt before that,it was awesome, just for the fringe. damn the hair stylist.HAHAHAHAHA.

-

ohhyea.

and i think im gna b sickkkk.

2007-07-12T18:28:00.000+08:00

sheesh. i feel like so bad cos i didnt even do a shit for computing and that i really have no mood do a single thing at all. and the thing is that im in SIT.wtf?

schl's alright. guessed i had found my happy pill after all? (:

2007-07-09T13:42:00.000+08:00

glad that i have something productive t do during the weekends, which is db trng.(:
and am grateful im in seniors' boat.waha.

-

alright,gymming later!(:

2007-07-04T11:16:00.000+08:00

JONATHAN ENG. WTF IS URE PROBLEM? SAID U WANTED T BE FRIENDS, BUT IN THE END, URE PURPOSELY PUTTING UP VICTORIA'S PIC INTO URE PROFILE, AND VIEW ME? WTH ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME?

YOU'RE A GODDAMNED LOSER.
I'LL SEE YOU BOTH DIE IN SAVA.

BASTARDS.

2007-07-01T17:38:00.000+08:00

sdbf yesterday!so kennethNG and i waited for that jared at yck mrt station. hes late.and he made a girl wait, how rude, but anw, i was rushing outta home.and i forgot to bring my toiletries.then we met nic jerean,vivian and i tink..amanda(i cant rmber who la) at amk mrt.so took train all the way t bedok, then met the rest at macs.

i didnt finishmy pancake.and i was still super super sleepy. haha.i just realised jerean and i are always sleepy.LOL!that prettypretty girl!:D then we made our way t bedok reservior. its sucha a pity that sipei cant come. my daddy and her daddy can be the bestest of friends alr. wtf.

so zul made jerean be women's team substitude.(:

okii. so the opening race started at 10 am, and is the mixed team.its alright that they came in last, though i know all of them dont like the idea of it.(WHO DOES?)but its alright, we all did well!(:

then we had men's race at 3.20PLUSPLUSPLUSMINUS? heard the breaking initia was awesome!(: ohyeaaaa. ha. then they managed to pace along with the seniors then slowed down.

but they came in fourth.(:

then came the women's race!walau, damn nervous la.we managed t pace alogside safra, but then our maintainence sucked.i thought we came in last, and was pissed.okiie.not pissed, but felt like damn loser.then zul was damn happy?LOL.and i thought he was nuts, then he said, "Dont show ure sad faces, i dont wna see anyone w sad faces."
but aiya. i hecked him la.wasnt that happy then.only after an hour, i realised we came in fourth! WAHA. awesome.aint that bad after all.(x

and i heard the seniors underestimated us?HMM.one word: "WOW".

then after that we left for tp's toilet. and i was fuckingly raped. wth. thank god it was only my ass la.LOL! FII U BITCH. U WATCH OUT.hahaha!HANTU TETEK! ure birthday, i make sure i wil do THAT. and haha.i noe i alr did it.LOL!
heng i got mylucky pad w me.LOL.then i was sitting on the toilet bench initially, then when everyone came, i rolled onto the foor.omg. lol.

then washed up, and met the rest at century square, we ate then we went home.HA. then kennethNG accompanied me to bishan and meet derek.

and i miss(:
he hasnt msged me yet.HURRRRR. =( and i jus had durian,wah. shiok.didnt eat that in like, years.ha.

alright! gotta run. gonna have my belated birthday celebration near bugis!(:

2007-06-28T22:09:00.000+08:00

is it a good or bad thing, now that i found so many cute people around me?but there's this one person makes my heart race.HA.so cute, i like.his smile.

2007-06-28T19:08:00.000+08:00

Please dont come around
Talkin bout how you changed
How you said goodbye
To whats-her-name
All it sounds like to me is new game
And I know I was right when I thought
Id be much better off without you
Had to get myself around you
cause my life was all about you

-Pink,"There You Go"

//

so yea, sdbf is like in 2 days' time.im already about t be mentally prepared.and i havent been a good girl lately.i did things beyond my parents' imagination(of course not those that degrade myself).

i guess im turning into something i wasnt before, but i hope my character would be much stronger then before,especially of what had happened between me and that fucker.im still kinda disappointed in him,and now that "bitch"..he's probably making use of her t get his fame,or maybe the other way round,but then again, i guess both parties sucked real much.

der told me things about them.he knows i still love him alot, but ohyea, what can i do, with a bastard like him,we(his friends and i) wanted the best for him, but he probably doesnt appreciate it at all, and theyre even tired of it.

and yea, say what u want about ure mum's comments, for i know it isnt true. ure a liar.u never knew what's best for u till u probably lost something, but i tink its ure greed that overpowered u.

what else can i say?ure great?u told me this thn.and all im grateful for is the happy memnories.

2007-06-24T22:57:00.000+08:00

got this from jerean's profile.

"If someone comes into your life
becomes a part of you
for some reasons he couldn't stay
don't b sad
Just be glad
that your paths crossed and
somehow he made you happy even for a while.
Time will tell If he's yours he will surely come back."

and i miss you.you fucking bastard.my loved and hatred.ure one hell of an asshole.

2007-06-21T00:47:00.000+08:00

sdbf is drawing nearer. stress. hes being a real fuck. and im more stressed about it. thank god for leonard.haha. and jeanice, and pau, and minah and fathiah.

and of cos my committee members.HEH.and db mates.(:
they mean so much more t me other then him. and fii. that fucking bitch. and my partner on boat.(:

AND, SMOKING DOES NOT AFFECT URE STAMINA! ITS PSYCHOLOGICAL! lol.

2007-06-17T16:17:00.000+08:00

its all a stage play, but i can tell u, ive really enjoyed it.THANKS.i vow t b a participent from now onwards.

konek kepala kau.fuck dan hisap sampai buah bocor!

2007-06-13T21:00:00.000+08:00

finally altered my grey and black jeans.YAY.and i miss baby badly.real badly.

2007-06-11T22:58:00.000+08:00

rain, ain and fii are the few ppl who called me MINAH.alamak.apa minah sial!saya tat minah lor.hahas. and i miss my darling. supersweetness(:

meeting him tmr again.:D so in love with him!
and finally my baby has met my frens.haha.and ive met his too(:

but i wouldnt know..actually.

2007-06-08T21:12:00.000+08:00

lovely is like almost all that i wanted. hes so soft spoken, a mummy's boy and gentle, but appearence wise..HA! GOD, how can a person like this ever exist!but yea, he does. and im so grateful for this person here.(:

so special.i like.

but then, i guess it was more of his personality tt attracted me la.LOL

full of misses.

-

ok.baby howell kissed me!awwww.so sweet. we blushed.and like, its so rare esp hes a superrr shy kid.and everytime i look at him , hide behind my uncle, or uses a bowl t cover his face! and then the whole process repeats again and again.HAHA. how cute.

2007-06-06T23:04:00.000+08:00

trng was shiok. paddled non stop for 30 mins, and the distance?5CLICK.wah my god.and zul gave me a link t a vid for some international race.super madness lor.

and i met someone new tday.(: hahaha.so so sweet.(:
he wna b known as "a goodboy who has a great passion in tattoos and piercings."
i like.(:

you knew i would give you all of me...

2007-06-02T18:26:00.000+08:00

had trng tday. met kenneth in 854. i felt it was so fucking dumb, cos those girls had returng the paddles need t be thr at 7.30. but of cos ken and i didnt la.we reached thr at 7.35. but we were the non CSC ppl who were thr the earliest.

then, we found out our training starts at 10.30. muthaf.so jeanice,jacinta,phyllis and i decided t rot and suntan. ha.(:

a useful way to spend time.

guess everyone has t train much more if we all rly wna win SDBF.damn tiring lehs.hai.but nvm.WE WILL.(:

and also, db is my only commitment,now tt i have no one t give a damn abt anymore.may sound good and bad yea. but ha. some how, its good. it lessens arguements and misunderstandings..unless i found one in db la.ahaha.

saw how our seniors rowed and other schls.OMGoodness. i tink we're really lacking bhind. if we continue, we'll throw RP's face!

alright. i needa rest now.havent been resting well nowadays cos of someone.its still so heartbreaking.

2007-06-01T21:25:00.000+08:00

didnt come t schl tday.but went t jeanice hse instead, and left for hg swimming complex.thn rot at her house after tt, and visited my ex mother in law. glad tt shes doing great, and told me things that i wished she could have said wen i was with bestf. can tell she loves me!((: but hai, moral of her msg, "fate".

i jus wna think tt i came to early.or maybe not?

those hands arent mine t hold anymore

2007-05-31T12:25:00.000+08:00

sometimes, we must learn hw t appreciate things in life. i havent learn my lesson, i better do so, before its too late.

and sometimes, we should try our best t get feuding (spell?) parents at peace. i wna help, im gna try. and ihope nth will go wrong. and i dont wna be looked upon as a busybody. now, tt im only a friend..

and thr isnt much time left for everyone.i really hope tings wil be better, and in any case, i wna be by his side, helping him all the way, even though i know i may not get anyt back in return.i wont leav him just like tt, esp wen she means everything t him.

and its partially my fault too for nt giving us time.how i wish i could give us time then, bt its too late. and, we'll always be here.in my heart.

2007-05-30T09:46:00.000+08:00

im under the same old sky, that overlooks millions of changing lives. and here i am, waiting like a fool, like as if im all for u.

-
db ltr.ha.but im so tired alr.

now i dont know how difficult my situation is. its getting more and more complicated.

2007-05-29T14:30:00.000+08:00

dang, schl's so boring. quekquek's sick too. =( i think im sweet enough t buy him lozenges.HA.(:

feel so disappointed for bestf. HAI. but ohwells. it cnt be helpped.. i wanted the best for him, his frens probably wanted the best too. so yea. HAII.

-
heard gwen's new song "4 in the morning"
superr sad please.ain and i can happily join forces and cry tgt.

Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have

& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

(Give you everything)
(Give you all of me)

-

im still trying my best though..

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!

2007-05-28T11:15:00.002+08:00

u said we shld noe each other well as frens, since we dont know each other well when we're tgt.

now that ive asked u, u said smth else, like uve got nth t say.wtf is ure problem?have u ever considered my feelings, how much i still care, how much i still love you, how much i wna hold on..

you dont.

you dont even care anymore.
and pls, are u being true t ureself? and t me? are u being fair? have u ever spard a thought for me? u said u rly love me as a fren,IF U EVER DO, you WILL care like how u used to.but no.

ahh. bastard sial.im like feeling so fucked up all over this thing.

-
crap la. u said that but u dont mean it lor.F larhh. wtf do u take me for? are u like, lying t me? stop hurting me, now that u know i still care.

2007-05-27T20:39:00.000+08:00

Your Inner Color is Blue

Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart.
You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone.
Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor.

What's" Your Inner Color?

ha.

and this is nice. LOL

You Are Bad Girl Sexy

Girl, you are nothing but trouble. And that's hot.You've got the classic bad girl sexiness mojo going on.And your badass attitude makes men fear you - and crave you.Don't give into people who say to tone it down. You're perfect as is.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofsexygirlareyouquiz/">What Kind of Sexy Girl Are You?

-

anw, got myself another grey skinny. hahah.ohyay.my motivation t look good in it.(:
and i tink someone's angry. about something. and i guess i know it.im so sorry,quek. =x
i feel so bad. mayb its just my tinking for now.quekquek, sms or pm me when u see this kae?

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtfulBut you also haven't stopped thinking of yourselfYou're the perfect blend of independent and caringYou're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouagoodgirlfriendquiz/">Are You a Good Girlfriend?

abt tis, no self praise needed, i know im a gd gf. mayb nt for him, bt for others as well. ha.rightttt.wtf.

AHH.quek ah, quekquekk!

2007-05-27T01:26:00.000+08:00

db was awesome. its my goal t be in every race. i wna b one of the best.

wen t bestf's wrkplc aft tt. passed him our diary. thr's still pain within. and ive decided t hold on, but dont feel sad(thanks pau). finally managed t take 70 home alone. super painful journey, cos all i can think abt is his kiss, his touch, his warmth, his smell,his voice..his presence. he lives.(:

2007-05-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

"1.) A girlfriend doesn't like to betreated the same as other girls even if they are very close to.
2.) A girlfriend must always bereminded that you love her even if she asks you to stop it.
3.) A girlfriend doesn't like to seeyou hugging other girls even though she and you may be close to them.
4.) When your girlfriend says that she is fine, or is okay, she isn't.
5.) Always go to your girlfriend if you're upset and not others.
6.) Never leave your girlfriend alone when you're with a group of friends especially when it is a big group of girls.
7.) A girlfriend always likes it when you give in to them in arguements where YOU are in the wrong.
8.) A girlfriend likes nice warm big hugs.
9.) A peck on th lips is more meaningful then a french kiss.
10.) A call every night never hurts but just don't go overboard and call her every second.
11.) A poem or letter will melt her heart.
12.) If she thinks you're cheating onher, comfort her. Don't let her continue thinking that way or shemight do something stupid.
13.) Never spend over 50 messages onany other girl besides your girlfriend or anyone related to you.
14.) If your girlfriend is upset, she expects you to always be there for her. To comfort her and listen to herproblems.
15.) Always be the first to apologise in a minor arguement.
Don't not think that girls expect much.Because they don't. Its the least you boyfriends could doto show that you really care and loveher.
Trust me.She will learn to treasure you more that way."

got this from friendster.omg.if only bestf read this..
-

anw, we had a happy time out.it was really bad before that.arguements, and hatred for each other. but now, we're hapy again. now, it feels the same like before,just that we have no status.and i really dont know what this means, but everything is the same..and he loves me very much as a friend,and me, a friend and a past love.

its so hard letting go.and i really hope he will change his mind in 2 weeks' time.but, on the other hand, i should just let go.

now,

i love him so much.

2007-05-25T01:44:00.000+08:00

neglected?
fuck you.

2007-05-24T10:45:00.000+08:00

Hopelessly Devoted To You

Guess mine is not the first heart broken,
my eyes are not the first to cry
I'm not the first to know,
there's just no gettin' over you

Hello, I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around
and wait for you
But baby can't you see,
there's nothin' else for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to you

My head is saying "fool, forget him",
my heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end, that's what
I intend to do

I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head, hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to you

-

The First Cut Is The Deepest

I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who's torn it apart
And he's taken just all that I have
But if you want I'll try to love again
Baby, I'll try to love again, but I know...

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
When it comes to lovin' me, he's worst...

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure gonna give you a try
If you want I'll try to love again, (try)
Baby, I'll try to love again, but I know...

OOHHH,The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
But when it comes to lovin' me, he's worst...

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
But I'm sure gonna give you a try
Cuz if you want I'll try to love again(Try to love again, try to love again)

Baby, I'll try to love again but I know, OOHHH....
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
When it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
When it comes to lovin' me, he's worst

OOHHH, the first cut is the deepest
Baby I know (baby I know)
The first cut is the deepest
Try to love again...

-

FFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
im so heartbroken and pissed.
maybe i shld just listen t jeanice and somemore.
and forget it.

ahhhh.

2007-05-23T15:29:00.000+08:00

i so wna be in db schl team.
urghhhhhhhh.

its like something that is known as a need,not a want.
and i wna be in every race.
mygod.i feel damn pressurised by it.cos there are those better ones.and i dont like it when they always get t b in the race, and not me.AHH. super F-ed up by it.

2007-05-22T21:45:00.000+08:00

now that im so free. (:
is this like good? or bad? i guess its just some damned excuse.

2007-05-22T09:49:00.000+08:00

im so freaking shagged these days. like DB and him.DB alr ends so late.hes not understanding.
he claims im different cos im in DB.yea.DIFFERENT IN APPEARENCE.not in person.cant you like understand?damn it.im still the same!

and now ure making me feel like as if im not part of you anymore.i just dunte noe hw t tell u.and i dunte feel like continuing this.

please let me go.

2007-05-19T01:14:00.000+08:00

well, guessed i was wrong. however,this current absence is making me feel so weak.

alright.db tmr.and sentosa after that.

And so you see, it's you and me
Together forever and never apart,
Maybe in distance, but never in heart.

do you ever get this?

2007-05-17T21:54:00.000+08:00

my god. i felt so damn emo just now. ANYWAYS,ANYWAYS,ANYWAYS,i miss RAIN.without rain,w16f is almost like some bored fuck.sisters! agree agree!!?

dads gna be in KL till tmr night. anyone wna a date!?let me know.LOL.

emoemoemo day.

2007-05-17T19:12:00.000+08:00

school was so so.

damn freaking sleepy nowadays.

but was early for the first time though.didnt really do much for presentation.thought tday was real bad.for probably far worst then before.

after school, Sisters met ruiwen, and calean. however only jeanice , calean and i went to tpy to collect our sisters jersey.

left for somerset.NOTHING significant happened.

wad can i say, now that i feel we're less than wad we were?

"i thought that after not meeting for sucha long time, i would feel much happier after seeing you.but it just seems that, we're only friends.. or rather bf and gf in name.i dunte wna think of anyt bad.but the thoughts just kept coming in.

you know, i just feel like as if you dunte care anymore,lest to say, no more love, unlike before?people say,'absence makes the heart grow fonder' and it doesnt feel like it now.why?

i feel as if im not being appreciated or cared for, no matter how much i try to be close to you.

guess its not working anymore like before."

or am i just being a petty bitch?

you know.. going the extra mile like holding me or even a hug or a tiny peck would mean the world to me,but it just seems that you dunte understand?and would something so simple like this hurt much?NO, right?

and i just feel so bad. so freaking bad to this other guy.

and myself.

and my bf.

and everything im doing now.

and to YOU,you know who you are, im so sorry. i dunte noe why im saying this though.cos i tink that it isnt affecting you much. but still, sorry.hope you wont get mad at me, or else i'll die if i cant talk t u in school or see you for rides again.

if i could be so happy.like how i love hafis' white ripcurl cap and even cam-whoring.

2007-05-17T02:09:00.000+08:00

finally took off my rails.
ha.
and they looked awesome :D
as awesome as quekquek's lady.
no.
i believe im better, HOR,quekquek?(x

wow oh wow.

AND OHH. **HINTHINTHINT**
and im still searching for HAFIS' white ripcurl cap!
im superrrrr in love with it.
ha.
i WANT it.(x

2007-05-15T11:31:00.000+08:00

im so sleepy in class right now.

everyone's in the mood for rest.

haa.

yuheng's beside me now and hes seems damn bored and is tearing paper.

lol

no.hes folding stars.LOL
hazeem seems bored too.

lizhen is chatting away, sitting like an aunty. isetan aunty.HA.
okae.

im so bored now.

b O B. ™ says:
update ur blog
b O B. ™ says:
lol
Sarahjh. says:
ha
Sarahjh. says:
why

b O B. ™ says:
say abt me
b O B. ™ says:
lol
Sarahjh. says:
ha

wth.hahaha.

im so bored. presentation soon!

and im so in LOVE with hafis' white ripcurl cap!

2007-05-14T00:28:00.000+08:00

had my first rowin session.
was boring pls.
cos had some functions over at seletar.

wtf

hope next weeks one will be better.
and would be at kallang. yay.(:

and i cant wait t see quekquek's bike on tues!
tts if bf isnt meeting me.

2007-05-12T23:45:00.000+08:00

im feeling unfaithful again.
i wna hve my freedom again.
yet.
i wna hve someone who loves me wholeheartedly.
cant have the best of both worlds.

or is it just my damned mentality?

fuckit.just.fuck.FFFF.

-

OHOH.

and i found out some~~one~~bitch said i have poor dress sense?
mygod.if i have poor dress sense,
then wad are those china students and sad to say, herself?
doesnt she dress somewhat like me, or probably,WORST?

mygod.
isnt she like living in her mum's asshole?
shes probably rubbed shit n cum into her eyes and ate them.

no wonder shes full of angst.
and i guess its high time for her to change her thinking.
shes like. acting like an overjealous 13-15 years old child?
a child who cant seem t get what she wants and then loves hating everyone cos
everyone's everything shes not and doesnt have?

ohya. i guess.no.
i CONFIRM.

and shes not the only one.
met miss K(identity protected)
she told me abt wad happened t her and her frens.
asked me abt some of them.
and its so true.
and also she thought they loved her, but in fact,
it was her BEST friend who talked bad about her.
ohsosame.
and her other good friend believed it.

yadayada.

secondary school friends.
majority of them are awesome.
some are just a bitch.
and they still ARE.

once a bitch, always a bitch.

and i know i aint.
cos i dunte think with my ass ,unlike someone who does and still does.

and on a lighter note...
-

FIRST DB TRNG TMR!
YAY OH YAY.

I SO GNA BE BLACK.
((:

2007-05-11T14:15:00.001+08:00

mygod.
i didnt mean t feel this way.
but i cant help it.
neither do i want it.

and i feel like i wna have more new things.
its sucha bad idea or thought.
but i cant help it when what i say clashes.
URGH.

ahh. fuck.
it doesnt always mean that a person who smiles on the outside is always a happy person.

2007-05-10T22:33:00.000+08:00

2234-

me: hafis! ure kuku damn long lahhh!"
hafis: ah! wad. where!? (looks down)
kong shen: MYGOD!! DID I HEAR SOMETHING?

hahahhahahah!

mygod.
damn funny.
ps. its NOT a dirty word.

ohyayohyay. banana gave me a B!
ha like finally.
i shall stop calling her ~~black~~ banana from now on.i gues ive been mean enough.

-
aft schl
went t toapayoh with pau,rain jeanice.
made Sisters jersey
ha.
a bought a few fbts
ha.
yay.

then ate at pastamania's

mygod.
i saw the amount of oil coming out.
eww.
and now im feeling guilty.
ohshitto.

ahquek ah! :D
u noe wad i want lor.
ive been telling u tt EVERYDAY.

2007-05-10T12:33:00.000+08:00

1236-

ut is like so rubbish lor.
type so much.
ha. and auntie was complaining that she didnt had much time t complete it.lol

ate cold noodles n miso soup just now.
and its so f-ing cheap!
2 bucks for soba!
ha. outside is like 9 bucks for just..NOODLES.lol.

and miso is so nice pls!
ha. 2nd break now.ta!

0130

2007-05-10T00:47:00.000+08:00

db was awesome.

ran 5.2 km without stopping.

ha. im so proud of myself.

bf said im being hl, haolian.

ha.wtf la.

no lorrrr.

the two cam whores :D

for a person who cant run for nuts n got flat foot,

its a damn gd achievement alr lor

and im always last.

bt i became middle

ha.

and i wna take the lead soon.

-
was told rowing changed t sun.

not only that..

here are the details.

be at khatib mrt, 12.30pm
starts at 2pm
ends at 6
and its mother-fuckingly Monthers' Day.

"MILK,MILK.I WANT MILK!!!!!!!!"
"u want left, or right? big or small?"mygod. sounds familar??

crap.

my laobu sure kb lor

hur

planned t go sentosa w Sisters.

bt duno lehs.
and..

see the time lor.

be there at TWELVE-THIRTY.

we start at TWO.
wtf are we gna do for the an hr and a half??
rot?

travis said light exercises.

take note.LIGHT.

mygod.
hes mad or wad.

exercise...

and the next day is db lor.

hur.grumbles**

but i still love db.ha.

and welcome PAULINE t db!

we all can make it till yr3, hor jeanice? xD

yay ohyay/(((:

w16f's db girls.((:

having UT in like 8 hrs time?

mygod.

this is wad we do in class.OPPS.eateateateatBK.(:

who took tis ah?!

oh and hello quekquek!

:DDDDDDDDDD

i wnna a ride agn.

or mayb always?LOL

iloveherplease!

2007-05-08T23:56:00.000+08:00

my god.
do u actually hfta do it on purpose?
ure hurting me like F.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFk.
and i dunte wna lose u just like that.
u noe..
its hard keeping up with so many people in schl?
bah.dang.
-
ohyay.
probably im riding on Lady agn on thurs!
ha.
shes sexy.
quekquek noes im in love with her.ha!
and hes not happy cos im the third party!
Xp

shes bringing sexyback. hotstuff.

2007-05-08T09:17:00.000+08:00

09.15-

my god. riding on bobson's little sexaye was awesome

ha.

i love it.

the thrill is like so. wow. ha. and i love the feeling of the wind against me.ha.
(:

thankx quekquek!

and yay.
no more VB. :D

marvellous.

0924-
i sense some small unnecessary problems coming up.
probably its just me
but i feel he isnt loving me enough.

way too little love for me.
well i guess its just my imagination.

2007-05-07T16:07:00.000+08:00

mygod.
schl damn boring pls.
and LKK was mad at me.
ha.

and i cant wait t sit on mr bob's bike.
ha.
tmr.

DB ltr!

2007-05-02T17:05:00.000+08:00

spiderman3 was awesome.
ha.
schl was damn boring pls.

2007-05-02T00:07:00.000+08:00

damned the movie threatres in sg.
i cant watch a single movie with baby tday.
so we ended up roaming ard sg
ha.

and found some interesting plces t go next time.
whr we can have PDAs.
ha.
and be spotted on stomp.
LOLLLLLLL.
wad crap.

-
and shes being mental recently.
oh wdv.
i wasnt talking abt myself, like HELLO?!
and she thought i was.
my god.
wth is with her?

anw, i cant wait for tmr!
db again!(:

2007-05-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

hahahha.

schl was a real bore.
and sisters wna leav halfway.
bt we all felt real bad
so we didnt in the end.
ha.

-
had DB tnrg aft tt.
omfg la.
was damn tired.
and i SAID i CANT RUN FARRR means i CANT RUN FAR.
doyougeddit?!
100 situps and 45pull ups was nothing.
completely NOTHING.

but running 5.2 km without trng is like fucking siao.
thank goodness i have this ill-disgustingly flat foot feature on me.
ha.
so i cant run.
ok.can run,. but NOT far and LONG.
so maybe i'll be gymmin while the rest are running in the sun.HA.
ohwows.

ain tt awesome.
ha
cant wait for wed and sat!
(:

and i miss darhling.

2007-04-28T19:32:00.000+08:00

classroom!

the sisters family and hafis and farhan. gay people! ((:

went t gym with jeanice pauline n lizhen on fri
didnt do much.
but sure felt strains on my back , legs and stomach
i nida be toned mann.

-

awesome.
DB's gna start on monday.
ha.
(:
cant waitttttt!
bt baby's nt gna be happy. =/

what a dilema.

2007-04-25T14:39:00.000+08:00

am in class right now.
ha.
love my cls so much
(:
ha

have so many people has the same interests as me for DB.
ain that awesome.haaha

-

meeting baby later.
glad hes recovering from a bout of flu and sore throat.(:

5/6 of the sisters family. :D

ohman. i got an annoyg clsmate.
she just sang.
bahhhh
she kps singing in cls.
super annoying.
everyone feels the same.
grr.
wdv.

saturday :D

2007-04-22T19:04:00.000+08:00

met up with Baby.
wen t watch
"The Hills Have Eyes2"

goddamngood show
got abit porn
but is a super gory movie
ha

and surprisingly got one damn funny part
ha
Baby laughed so hard at that.many guys did.
ha
he noes how painful it feels wen someone hits it hard.
lolll

and there were many merciless killings in the movie.lol.
nd some parts lookd like a butcher shop.
gross.
ha.

aft tt we wen out.
Baby said he felt damn nua.hahahah!
n sat down.
damn sick show lor.
ha.

thn walked ard town area
and walked t dhoby and he sent me home.
ha

ain he sucha sweetboy?

TGIF! :D

2007-04-20T20:05:00.000+08:00

yay. tgif!
so freaking tired lor.
was late
ha but came in t schl w jo.
lol

lesson abit chim lor.
or isit i didnt listen
ha
thn spent time talkg t jeanice
ha
didnt noe we're so connected t each other
lol
got so much common topics!
haa

then met baby aft schl
accompanied him t his work plc.
poor boy.
nida do op next wk.
hai.
=(

meeting tmr!
XOXO.

=/

2007-04-20T01:01:00.000+08:00

im so disappointed with him.
we're like only 15 days tgt and he keeps tellg me abt all the break up stuffs.
not only once.
like 4 times alr.
walau.wth

wad can i say?
cant u have more trust and faith in this r/s?
if smth happens, thn let it be.
u cant stop it frm happening anw.
easy t say but
i'll take the respnsibility for hurting u then.

but still, why?

2007-04-17T22:20:00.000+08:00

schl's quite slack actually.
ha.
learnt hw t evaluate n like ask what we dunte noe of a certain item/work

easy la
bt nida do lots of research.
ha

-
met baby.(:
went ps.
wnated t get smth.lol.
bt kinda to ex.
lol

so yea.
thr's always another day! (:

school starts tmr! :O

2007-04-15T22:56:00.000+08:00

schl starts tmr!
ahhhhhh!
fuck.

kinda nt rly lookg fwd t it.
why?
cos its RP.
not SP
TP
NP
or
NYP

rp..
wad the pi.
anw,
thank goodness im meetg baby tmr.
ha.(:
awesome.

smth i will look fwd to tmr.and always.
i thank God so much for letting him come into my lfe.
whats more, we're total strangers.
ha.
amazing lor.

<3 Him and baby.

2007-04-11T21:44:00.000+08:00

rp just sucks or what?
class' fine.
but like.

some people in schl.?
ew.
haa.

some.
basically3 lah.ha.

my baby

2007-04-10T20:29:00.000+08:00

i so so love you.
kiss *

2007-04-06T00:12:00.000+08:00

rebonded hair with adeline.(:
she coloured while i rebonded i mean.
hahas

met B.(:
hahas.
nth could be xpressed in words
with how much he loves me
how much i longed t be in his arms all day long.
and how loved i felt.

every moment i spent with him is like a brand new and refreshing life for me.(:

like in a world of our own.

and i thank God for you.
i thank God i found you, or you found me.
and want forever t be ours.(:

praise the Lord.
not only him,
but for everythng i have right now.
i feel so blessed.

loveyoufuckloads,baby.(:

2007-04-04T01:33:00.000+08:00

he must really have shit loads of guts just t hold my hand. (:
-
and i dunte noe.
i still kinda like my cg mate a lil.
but thrs nth btwn us..
so much for the telling of true feelings last yr.
and all the msges.
and all the outings.
hoping it'll be true, but nah.
n somehow.

i wna have the both of both worlds.
sucha sin.

i better nt commit.
dunte wna be guilty for life and also twards my own self and God.

-
its has only been 5 hrs
and im missing ure touch.
-

and i feel so fucking dumb.
i regreted my actions.
i lost my brand new sim card.
and some KNNCCB or KNNCLJ took it.
fuck,-slaps self.
daddy's gonna hg me.

and OH,23's great.
nice show.
wna watch it agn.
and had a great time tday. : D
or rather
had a uber awesome day. (:
<3

2007-04-02T00:56:00.000+08:00

i lost my fucking phone.
due t my carelessness.
my mr choy told me tt.
hai

was like rushg t go lucky n play pool w my colleagues.
thn didnt check back after changing
thn elang-ed
hai
fuck

my pics w katya and the other models,
twin,adeline e438 n e421
and many many others.

hai.
tt bitch.
give me back my phone.
or at least,
my memory card.
fucker.

outside your door.

2007-03-22T01:03:00.000+08:00

am like so tired and sick right now.
/legs and feet aching.
/sleepy eyes and sucky skin condition.
/no money cos i spend too much.
-but i still wna spend more.
/eat,eat,eat.
/sleep,sleep,sleep.

AYE. WTH LA.

5 more days till the Sands of Time event ends.
cant wait.
but am kinda lookg fwd t the fashion show.
haha.

-
sian.
rp.
shld i even go there?
i wna leave elsewhere for a better education.
but whr?
how?
friends?
lonliness?

and money?

i just wna be alone, somehow.

and i havent seen him for quite a while alr.. or rather 2 wks.
but sadly, i mean nothing t him.

-

i feel as if im losing my faith.
in everything i do.

im so freakg tired.
tired til i wna die.

and i havent been chatting w God for a LONG time alr.

2007-03-14T01:37:00.000+08:00

pm was great.(:

i cant help turning my head t the left,
hoping for something better.
but every turn has been a disappointment.

it feels like as if im not there and then.

but somehow, or rather,it aint wise of me t think abt other problems and have emotions in the presence of God.

=////

-
wen ljs at millennia walk w glen,wenkai,tatkwek,hanxian,van,val,cher,gordon n dan.
and each table 'cept for val's,was talking about smth related t relationships and marriage, or was it?

lol.

how interesting.
and my colleague,amy, said she wna have kids.at 18.
LOL.
and recently, many of my company's and other isetan staffs have been talking abt it.
and also,some colleagues' friends within 20-25, are married.

which is like, 7 yrs from now?

speaking of which,
i havent been attached before. and yet, i wna be a young mum.HAHAHHAH.great.
but like, walau, so much commitment, and responsibilities.and wah, PAIN LEH.if you know what i mean.

and its not tt i aint a responsible person or whatsoever,

but im just starting to wonder.
WHAT THE HELL HAVE I BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS OF MY LIFE?
lol.
(ok tt sounds damn shameless of me.hahaha)

alright.
quite an entry outta the blue.
but its something worth t ponder abt.

haha
oh what a happy day.(x

am working at taka b1 tmr.(:

2007-03-13T00:53:00.000+08:00

i should learn hw t convey and express myself more appropriately from now.

-

anw, work was a darn bore.
monday blues. =/

realised tt kelvin is sucha sicko.
and boy, hes darn smart.(he takes F math!)
unbelievaable?
believer it.

so, this tells u tt, the smarter the person, the more sicker in the mind they are.

//

You and me
We used to be together
Every day together always

I really feel
I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end

It looks as though you're letting go
And it it's real,
Well I don't want to know

[Chorus]
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Our memories
They can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening

As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

[Chorus]
[Outro]
It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...

You and me I can see us dying ... are we?

lovethis song.
i'll nv stop tearing whenever i hear this.
quite meaningful and somewhat related t how i feel.

-
zone pm tmr.
and i cant find anyt more t say.(to you)
its hard.

2007-03-11T01:11:00.000+08:00

dang. i just had a thought running thru my head, tt u wont call me on sunday mornings.

and it was fuckingly true.

wtfreakingh.-slaps self.

-

i feel damn .
like just a . (dot)
so many thngs.

how could i possibly say it out easily?

//
on a lighter note,
i loveLOVElove GIVENCHY.
cosmetics, i mean.
walauEH.spent way too much on it.

well, im a girl after all.
HAA. (:
hahas.

gotta darn big hole in my pocket now.

2007-03-05T02:13:00.001+08:00

So kiss me and smile for me,
Tell me that you'll wait for me,
Hold me like you'll never ~~let me go~~.

-i wish.
i'll wait..
do you know its you im talking about?

2007-03-05T02:13:00.000+08:00

jesus is my sweetest escape.(:

i love you.